---------Ladies and Gentlemen, Haitian Art Lovers, and you too the Initiate. On this page here we have reached the summit. On this level, we not only reach the horizon line but the vertical as well................where the known will be left behind or turned upside down,................This is the exact place where all spiritual paths will eventually lead you to From Jerusalem to Mecca, Lhasa in Tibet to Saut D'Eau, Haiti. From the top of the Himalayas to the deepest caverns in the belly of the earth Or more locally even if Papa Legba (butler and courier of the gods)took you by the hand, humans cannot go beyond this point. We are at the summit where the price is paid and the transformation process takes place for not one pound of flesh or one string of tough will survive. Rebirth in the belly of the universe.......
And please rest at ease even if tears flow down your face. Let them flow. They are awe-inspired tears originated from or triggered by shocks of realization and not from emotions of sadness...........
After two disastrous failed marriages and many boyfriends and fiancees in between. Having suffered heavily, abuses and humiliations from family members, uncles, cousins etc...,. before departing she made a full circle going back to her beginning, to her true nature and giving me a final embrace {PRICELESS GIFT} pointing to a door in my very person to investigate, in that nature and thus forever deifying herself in my eyes, and these were the eyes of a 4 year old who have just started to talk and to understand..................the language of the soul, language of all that exist.....amen..........
Is it possible to a human to knows his or her fiinal hour on Earth? Apparently my sister knew. She was given a terminal diagnostic by her Dr. She was given 6 months to live, She died two weeks later. She was born the same way. A true miracle of life. Just a little above 4 pounds and an abnormal and weak heartbeat, she willed herself to live.
Just like she willed herself to let go, no fighting at all. I saw her the day after the diagnostic. we both laugh, cried and danced that day. She kept her diagnostic a secret. She did not want no one to feel sorry for her. The weekend she died I received a letter from her, a masterpiece, she penetrated my very soul as she have done during my whole life.........
I don't know who else receive letters but I doubt it was signed in her original name "41/2 Ti Semi". If your letter was not signed in that fashion, I'm sorry for you for you did not know that side of her. 4 1/2 Ti Semi means absolutely nothing to you. So what is written here have absolutely nothing to do with you or your level. Whoever you are, whatever the relationship or benefits you got, good for you. From the total sum, I just subtract and deduct whats belongs to me, what is mine and mine alone including arrival and formation, departure and dissolution. From what is mine a powerful feminine essence emerges, crystallizing into pure divinity inbedded in the living mysteries.
To me the Semi signature means everything for I was part of the nucleus of what brought that entity into being or was it that entity that bought me into being. The Semi name was given to her by our grand mother "Grande Nago" a Zemi herself. The only one with the confidence that my sister would live. Please retain that word "Grande NAGO" As she held my sister in the palm of her small right hand at 1am on November 5th with the moon right overhead. She raised the the little naked body, still in foetus position and declared her a Semi., a traveling Semi, to live and die as a Semi. And my father nicked named her 41/2 Ti Semi, meaning four and a half little godess or little ancestral spirit...........To be continued for sure............
Now to the heart of the matter. ...... I always knew that place of wonder and only have contemplate it from a far distance, let alone travelling beyond it to the opposite side. I always felt I was too fearful and unpure to face it. Walking by from a good distance I always saluted it with reverence... But everything changed upon my sister's passing. That passing was a big loss and it surely created an unescapable big void. but it was also for me a direct signal unequivocally pointing to the frontiere where I spent years mourning , as descending Black Orpheus into that very unescapable void until ultimately its very end was found. And what I find out I cannot even say because they would surely put me i a mental assylum..,As with all spiritual matters, once one encounter or reach a level it becomes permanent. You become it and it becomes you. In all seriousness, the ultimate reality is everything, I mean everything including this material universe itself, everything that is born at some point dies. It is an empirical law. The big secret to the unknown, unseen, unnamed, unborn is to die in consciousness of it and to do it while living. That is the key to open the door. or the light switch, the awakeness. Once you pass thru, you are literally reborn with one half unknown, unseen unnamed unborn..... At this stage death cannot face the unborn or unnamed in you because of the obvious fact one cannot loook behing one's own head. You are now on the other side of death or at one or equal with death itself where there is no matter. In this unknown reality there is no inside no outside. or outside and inside are the same. and all the senses are one unit most prominently with the ears and eyes combine with one's will and awareness or consciousness which are not only a complete module, they also become light, not light that you can see, more like a different kind of illumination, and food {not the kind you eat, but still consuming satisfying energy in the will and awareness}, please note there is no brain, no thinking or calculation or doubt in the will or awareness, memory is -0 minus zero as if nothing exist, at the same state of being everything is100% sure or fully complete, . no inside or outside, 360 degrees state on being with no inside or outside where everything is one.
Findind oneself in the center or cause of a "PILE ETOILE" to self ignite in an unimaginable scale. as the journey unfolded endlessly on the other side, self sustainably. This was the path 4 1/2 took successfully.
And, now Joseph Cantave, we have been waiting patiently, can you please tell us how exactly do you know your sister underwent such a transformation and took consequent trip?
Well because this is the exact trip I myself took after a most chocking and unbelievable transformation. Up to that point my sister have been preparing me for that trip as long as I can remember, step by step by careful step. This is not something you can really explain. It is an experience to be experienced. I never read it in all the books I read or saw it in pictures, movies or dreams. The best way I can honestly describe the invisible, unborn or unnamed is, for that is what one becomes.
Do you see Frantz Zephirin paintings? more specifically the ones with the figure with part bird, part reptile, part human, part fish and so on. Well the unborn is part ear {not outside ear}, part breath {not outside breath, suspended, neutral or relaxed at midpoint between inhaling and exhaling}, part eyes {not outside eyes 360}, part touch {not outside touch, feeling or radiance}, part senses {not outside sences} all awareness {fully radiant}, intense, extreme feeling of laughing and crying at the same time but not in a human head. With extreme sexual energy or lobido again with no body or sexual organ.
That entity is now in a exploding situation as in climaxing explosion of light. Well it was a long voyage to end up in that state. I may write on another page sometimes about the voyage to this State of being. But now I'm find myself in this explosion of light. I started to fight and resist with the senses and awareness. A strange voice started to talk, not in English or Creole or human language, more like a deep, deep understanding. "Relax, Relax, Easy, easy, easy, relax" the voice keeps telling me repeatedly,you are home, you are yourself, this is who you are, this is your house, gradually calming down and feeling more and more confident, realizing it is my own voice, calling me, as if waking me up to a different reality, myself talking to myself as the energy intensified and the energy is also me. The whole explosion is me becoming me a blazing light...............
Please note, as I mentioned it was not a human voice, house and home is my own human translation, The real thing was more like the place one's belong to and that place is also one's self. Again a place that have no inside and no outside.
But the whole thing happened not outthere space or inthere space but in a different kind of space. The transformation takes place upon entering a long tunnel or funnel or bridge. Nothing could of stopped me from successfully reaching the end, I just had to. will write more extensilvely about the experience again on another page. That experience totally replaced in my heart the terrible pain my sister's death caused in me. And that experience itself become the highlight of my life, consuming me day and night.
"Pile Etoile" is a creole word I cannot translate into English now....Sorry........ This expereice lead me to believe there are unumbered worlds or univereses in existence.
My experience is unique as each individual is unique but Every human poseess the mechanism already built in their own life. one you realise this truth the quest begins to put the vehichule together.to go beyond the summit if it so desired to pass the frontiere and make it to the other side, see yourself outside of yourself. This is the knowledge pass onto me by my sister who was at once my mother, my sister and childhood soulmate, inseperable from birth to the age of 7. She was and continue to be my inspiration.................................
The absttact faces paintings now have the subject's eyes looking inward into infinilty as a result of her passing. The titles also reflect the continuation of the relationship.
This little picture was taken 1 year before passing. She gave it to me on our last meeting. She was born prematurely and died prematurely, accepting, embracing, and celebrating her fate, no problem. I looked for that little picture for years in the appartment without finding it. This half little picture, one day, fell from the trck I was driving for 4 years. A week before returning the leased truck after the end of the contract. I'm a CDL driver. I then spent days looking for the other half of the picture in the truck...... There is a message writen in the back for me. It could very well be an opening.
That day she was very proud of me she told me that I was excelling spiritually.
this little prayer was the last thing my sister said to me and she insisted it that we said it together a number of times.;;;;;;;;;;;;;;...............Dieu Soit Benit
Dieu Qui Donne
Dieu Qui M'a Donne
Dieu Qui M'a Ote
Dieu Soit Benit
What make this little prayer stand out for me is that it is the exact same thing that happened the last time I was with my father before living to immigrate to the US. As he was trying to advise me not to be so cheap as I was the cheapest of the family. In my room, growing up in Haiti, there was a large poster of that prayer on the door. Now I'm discovering this little prayer has metamorphosed in me with layers upon layers of meanings.
------------------ For my birthday in September 1998 my sister Sherley cantave gave me a round trip ticket for the following July to accompany her on a all expenses paid Haitian vacation. Little that I knew that vacation would turn out to be an unparalleled spiritual experience.
On one early morning in July 1999 my sister and I entered Logan International airport destination Port au Prince, Haiti. As we were approaching the luggage and checking-in area, my sister made eye contact with an African American attendant who was directing foot traffic. Right after, my sister told me to be very careful and alert because that woman you just saw will try to make us loose our flight even get us arrested if she could. Since childhood, my sister had the special ability to accurately read people's eyes, faces, gestures and movements ect... I did not pay that airport employee no mind but after the second time she made us move aside to create two additional lines. I felt something wasn't right. She was purposefully irritating us. But we both my sister and I stood suspended, even though disgusted, we remains calm, observing the situation. Half an hour later after both lines were empty she made us move a third time, but since there were not a single person inline anymore she had no choice but to signaled us to go to the counter. Before my sister could bend over to grab her suitcase the woman unintentionally or intentionally kicked the suitcase down before my sister can grab the handle. And the attendant then left without looking back. As she walked by I said in creole "Yo voye ou" or "they sent you" in English. My sister and I looked at each other with expressions of resignation and relief as we both bust out laughing, resuming our journey. I know my sister. It was not easy for her to take this kind of indignation or intimidation without responding in kind, but two days later at Union Bank in downtown Port au Prince she suddenly was presented with an opportunity to exhale it all out leaving everyone present stunned and amazed. ........
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Arriving upon the greater antilles Island, the American Airline airplane made a few circles overhead before descending , during the circles my sister told me in a very somber tone "Ti Frem nan" it was how she called me at times affectionately meaning my little brother, "Eventhou I told you we are on vacation but I'm here on a mission. I was tasked to escort you to your ancestral home. They claim you have deviated too far from your path, It's time for you to come back to the fold". I asked who are they and what she was talking about. She then told me just to be present and open during all the seven days we would be in Haiti, specially in Saut D'Eau where we would spent three days in celebration of the Virgin, And she also said that the negative interraction at the Logan Airport with the African American Lady was just a test. That lady could of been anyone there at that time.
I must pause here and say that my sister loved African Americans and had a deep respect for them. She always claimed they have a very important, historical role to play in the destiny of the African diaspora. They first have to awakens to their true identity.
Now what exactly happened at Union Bank down town Port au Prince?
The day after we arrived, first thing in the morning we went to the bank, I can tell my sister was still stressfull, loaded with anxiety. That is why many Haitian go back sometimes more than once a year to their country whatever the condition it is in they just have to go. Like fish going to water.
Ok, upon arrival at the bank, some armed policemen greeted us as I opened the door for her. We did not go far however, for the line was twisted and extended close to the very door we just walk thru. As I looked around, I was amazed by the bank's architecture. It was like a cathedral with very high ceilings, with offices on both sides, three stories high. Little by little the line moved and we were now close to the end of the line looking at 7 to 10 bank tellers receiving patrons.
As we waited for our turn, my sister turned her head and mumured"cote yo prale? in english "where are they going?" , and we observed a white couple escorted by one of the police officers as they walked casually by the long line. The white couple were young and in tourist apparels. t shirts, sunglasses and sandals. Fitting very well for a downtown July scorching Caribbean sun.
All of a sudden, my sister broke out of the line and approached the officer respectfully good morning ect.... I said to myself some people are just born with authority, she was just like my father a true commander of people, more particular Haitian people.
But after a short exchange of words with the tourists, she found out those two american tourist were just regular folks with no diplomatic status. They were just doing regular banking and simply did not want to stay in the long line. My sister screamed three words on the top her her lungs " Tonerre, Tonerre, Tonerre Boule'm". Sorry cannot translate this for it would lost its power in translation. Those three words reverberated, echoed back and forth thru the cathedral walls and the atmosphere. Everyone stopped what they were doing and fixated their attention to the originator of those screams. At this point myself and everyone else were alarmed. This woman "my sister" must be crazy. But what came next out of her mouth melted every Haitian's heart. She spoked creole but in a different kind of manner, the uttered words were arranged in a odd way and every words penetrated one's soul. In just a few words every one knew she was a diaspora coming to her homeland and in a million years she explains she would not be accepted as a regular tourist in the US let alone have this sort of privilege and ended her speech demanding to be arrested. Upon hearing the word arrested I broke out the line to be with her and to be arrested as well. I did not take two steps the whole line dissolved and everyone surrounded us, now banks officials coming from glass doors were also present, the whole atmosphere changed, as a murmur rumbled in the air waves as everyone asking themselves what in heaven is going on? As the bank officials wanted to privileged my sister into what ever business she wanted to do, they themselves would do it for her. My sister firmly refused as we were already close to end on the line. She just wanted the white couple to go back to the end of the line. All the while the American couple was confused and they did not know or understand what the hell is going on. That privilege, a privilege not allowed in their own country, (at least not overtly) it look like it was their right to exercise in third world countries. But my sister would not allowed it that morning. The bank officials did not address the couple at all, they just spoke in creole to the police officers and they escorted the poor couple to the back of the line apparently still confused. As they walk back, the line was formed once again as everyone laugh and applauded with delight and contentment including the bank tellers. I could hear an older woman talking behind me as she said "Ce pitit peyi a oui qui sot pale la", in English "we just heard the soul of the country spoken". After our transactions as we were leaving one of the police officers hold the door open and the others rose and saluted her.
Days later as we were relaxing in Saut D'Eau, I asked her about it, where would we be if we did get ourselves arrested at the bank, she reply she had not taking any chances at all and that everyone and everything was under control. And she asked me if I was paying attention? Now thinking back, the first cried she uttered hypnotized everyone.
Poor Sherley, the true reason she went to the bank that day outside of daily nessessities and expensises was to give me $100.00 every single day to donate and once we were in Saut D'Eau the donation doubled to 200 a day. For she told me
she is going to help me get rid of the cheap monster living inside me. I responded by telling her that I was already working towards that end. For up to that time every girlfriend I had have have left me partly for this very fact.... She laughed haurthily.
Now what happened in Saut D'Eau?
Three people so far have asked me about Saut D'Eau. Well the whole Haitian trip to me was Saut D'eau. Going to the waterfall was just the climax. Will write all the details soon.
The fact of the matter is my sister and I have had the same taste. In music, movies, books, foods etc... same attitude and sense of humor with a bent on mystery and a slight taste of the macabre. I must confess, growing up in Haiti I was her companion and follower, so whatever she liked I like whatever she did not like I did not like. So as an adult, it became so amusing and enjoyable at our meetings that I found myself smiling or laughing days, months, even years later upon flashbacks or recollections.
As interpreter of my dreams, the dream that fascinated her the most since childhood is the recurrence of monsters eating me alive. She used to have a blast about the details which were really disturbing before her passing away, for those monster birds had already eaten all my flesh years ago now It was my skeleton they were eating. crushing, crunching in their awful beaks (they were large prey birds) crap, crap, crop, eating away. As a child, I use to cry, protest, why, why, beg them to stop. They really did not care, I don't think they ever heard me, for, during all their feasting, they never looked at me, not even once. It was as if it was their duty to consume me. Oh poor me. I must also admit I never felt pain either. Also, the way they pinned me down I never fully saw their full faces or figure, it was as if they did not want me to see something, they were keeping a secret from me. Strange as it may seem, my sister always turned around and took their side against me. She seemed delighted in those tormented dreams, for she always told me I was in good hands and this is how the spirits work and treat their own. With her help, as a child I learned resignation to tolerate them. It wasn't till years later in my adult years after they have eaten everything, flesh and bone that I started to understand. My dear 4 1/2 knew the secret all along. All those monster birds became important food for me in my new state, for after they had eaten me there was nothing left, no flesh no bones, they had eaten me clean, all that survived was my smile, as the smile innocently looked at them, they automatically revealed themselves as parts of my newself, members or parts of my new body, as the smile swallowed all of them whole in one big gulp. .............. Then in my new invisible naked body I realise invisible eyes surrounded me, apparently they always been there watching, numberless numbers of invisible eyes.... My sister told me that dream signify a new chapter for me and to be prepare for what comes next. In the following dreams I was escorted in a friendly manner by the innumerable invisibles eyes, thousand upon thousands or millions of them that had overwhelming power over me, so I was always extremely afraid in those dreams. They escoetred me to the edge of an awful scary abyss and suggested or pointed that I go in. When I refused they they became angry and turned into a giant wrilwing or a powerfull tornado, cyclone, hurricane etc.. dragging me, forcefully carrying me pushing me, flunging my invisible self into the dark and endless abyss. Always at the moment of falling I always wakes up frightned from those dreams. It happened over , over, over and over again. In the last meeting as my sister was fed up, told me I was a big boy now and I know what to do. But that black abyss always seems to me a place of no return. Upon my sister's death, all the terrible eyes surrounded me and were watching me suspiciously as I contemplated the situation and then plunge myself with all my might forcefully into the abyss of no return, Automacally as I dive, they all, all the endless number eyes entered into my body and became me, I became invincible, an army into myself. Nothing could of stopped me. I was determined to reach the end of me or the end of the abyss. The resolution was firm I had to master and conquer the bottomless abyss or die. And that is how I find myself centered into the place or space, vacuum of space or place, where there is no inside or outside further more, the most perplex and inexplicable is that I found myself waiting there for me to embrace me and welcome me and to put clothes on me, not clothes as in fabrics, no matter exist in this world, 360 degree senses I gave to myself, more like myself wearing myself............................Now how it happened that I was already in that glorious place where everything is one before I later reached that place consume me day and night,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,For I lived there before I was born Joseph Cantave...........................
Back on Earth on the ground
Years ago In one of those dream interpretation sessions, as it was customary in the end to share eventful funny (our own unique sense of humor) stories about our lives. I started by telling her how my good friend Lovinsky was chocked, amazed and almost passed out, unable to get up out his chair.
The story is, Lovinsky was a good friend. he passed away years ago...............
As we were enjoying a great summer afternoon drinking and eating smoking reefer etc... for some unknown reason he became very disrecpful and threatening. Lovinsky was over 6feet and well built He loved to talk, he talked so much so I think he even talked in his sleep. I must admit we all loved Lovinsky, he was super kool and suave with the ladies, at the clubs he would get you a girl if you don't have one. But the fact remains, for he kept insulting me in my own house, I scratched my head asking myself how in heaven do I get rid of him? How do I get him to leave? I was only 5.8 and weight only 148 pounds. So I asked him point blank to please leave my house and if he want he can come back tomorrow. I asked him repeatedly and he refused repeatedly. So I debated in my mind how to make Lovinsky leave without a fight. A fight I have no doubt I would loose. All of a sudden I found the answer. And the answer was, I quietly went to the next room and secretly called the police and then I returned and sat down eating talking and smoking with Lovinsky as if everything is forgiven. A good while later In the midst of laughter, entertainment and amusement, the bell rang and I went to answer it and guess who wat at the door? And yes quietly I had the police come in, followed me to the back and pointed my finger on Lovinsky, and the talkative Lovinsky was seated with eyes and mouth wide open with an unbelievable expression on his face. Unable to utter even a single word and frozen as if in a paralysis state, incapable to move, unable to get up from his chair even after several commands from the two police officers to do so.
After hearing that story (with more spicy details at the time) my sister laughed uncontrollably as we both drank some water for relief and she then told that it was her turn and asked me to grab my "ti chaise ba moin" in English "little comfortable chair". The ti chaise ba is a creole expression used in the country side when a really enjoyable story is going to be told, because one could easily loose one's balance if standing in midcourse of taking pleasure in such story. Even the sprits have their own "ti chaise ba" that they grab at times to fully enjoy the deployment of their own tricks and plots in action in human activities. Depending on cycle and degree fruition can occurs within seconds to millennia.
Then my sister fully exited, laughingly had me recall when she told me a year ago how she graduated, completed or underwent a serious anger management program in orderto be able to not get terminated form her great corporation employer (her highest paid job ever). But last Friday after months and months of preparation (during wich time she was an exemplary employee who got a promotion, an upgraded salary and bigger office) she then finally had everything in order before flipping the table up side down, as she looked at me and told me she got them. She got them good she exclaimed, for in a corporate boardroom meeting were she was supposedly making a presentation with folders, charts etc.. .she then ask colleagues, distinguished invited guests (investors) vice president and executive managers etc. to turn to page 22 in her presentation, And on page 22 ladies and gentlemen was a truth all the years of university and life experience did not prepare them for what they read in harmony with her presentation, very peacefully and with a smile on her face, she went right into the core of the matter and the relevant circumstances surrounded the reasons that force landed her into anger management. For she was now in a most high position managing, opening their very being or soul with an invisible dagger. .......... after general paralysis, people literally collapsed. Ambulances, fire department, police and on site security were all dispatched, she called 4 individuals by name during her presentation, all that were involved in sending her to anger management. And each of the four passed out, outright, upon hearing their names, as she described the details of the situation to me, her immediate boss was seating upfront and was paying close attention to her every word, as my sister with a sharp eye was paying very close attention to her as well, as it was my sister's specialty, every facial, hand and body gestures were carefully observed and recorded, at the right moment and upon hearing the heavy, loaded words, the manager's arms, both arms just dropped from her armchair and hanged down motionlessly on each side as her head tilted and fell forward on her chest. The head of the HR department suffered the same fate, the staff suddenly realized something unordinary was going on, as they rushed to give assistance with water, towels, fans to generate air etc... as they wildly shook the those two to no avail, for they both never fully recovered for they both were carried away in stretchers to ambulance transportation................ My sister was then escorted by two security guards one of which was a Nigerian, a full blooded Yoruba, my sister had identity his identity the first time she made eye contact with him weeks ago. Since she had planned every details of her departure, she told security that she did not want to go to her office. As is was customary at time of sudden termination to be escorted and watched by security as one grabs personal items from one's office. My sister headed straight to the front door as the Yoruba African thanked her with tears in his eyes, for he came in and witnessed the aftermath of a paranormal activity.......... By the end of the story we both had tears in our eyes on the floor dying of laughter........ No need to say this was her last moment at such high position despite her high university degree. But she had already secured a position with the Cambridge housing Authority who provided her with her own little office where there were also stress but more or less manageable. She said our father did not raised her to kiss anybody rear end in any circonstances.
Pleae note, as for me, Lovinsky remained a close friend until he died. He just said that Joseph was like a snake, one never knows what was going on inside his head.
Even tho we grew distant since her first marriage, my sister and I remained very close on some level. She continued to be the translator and interpreter of my dreams. She made it a central point in our meetings as she drops by my place.
Now you ask yourself what is this girl doing on my sister's page? She is not a Cantave and not even Haitian. But she was the one who made everything clear to me right after she heard the news of my sister's passing which choked her because she saw Sherley just a few days prior at the mosque.
The fact of the matter is I had a number of relationships back in the days, and what makes Rochelle stand out is the fact that she was the only one approved by my sister. (please note I did not approve of any of hers including husbands). My sister was born on November 5th and Rochelle on Nov 6th. They are both pure Scorpios (Guedes in Voodoo) with venomous bites. I met Rochelle when she was just 17 years old still in High School and I was already 24 years old. Rochelle and I became one unit and our relationship lasted over a decade. However, our love faded but not our friendship. Now that she has over 3 grown-up kids, as I joke around with her and ask her how come we did not get married? She responded that she would of be in jail for life because she would have surely killed me...... Enough said. Ah, ah ha. By the way, she is happily married and makes well over 100,000.00 a year.
After graduating high school and before college my sister gave her a book titled " Clarissa Pinkola Estés - Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype". that book opened her eyes to the mysteries and woman power. She and my sister became friends with more books to follow. In the last few years of her life my sister became a Muslim. Rochelle somehow became a Muslim as well and frequented the same mosque in Cambridge. My sister gave me a number of books trying to convert me. I really enjoyed them. It is fascinating to see how the religion splitter into Shia and Sunny. It was a bitter treasonous, bloody, murderous affair. That split which is realy like a live volcano remains one that can erupt even today at any moment. And if is was not for that split these people would of surely conquered the world. And yes with the sword, for they were poised to become a permanent superpower. All and allI, I find all religions including Muslim foreign to me with all the Arabic language and rigid customs. Another reason is lastly I have stubborningly come to accept my identity as grandson of NAGO. As the Haitian proverbs go, where I'm centered? Moin pa ka fe "On Pa kita, On Pa Nago". Ah ah oh....When I last saw her I embraced her and she embraced me as En Ti Roro and Ti Semi. Both grandkids of the Great Nago, named and baptized by the Great Nago. A chapter or page will be devoted to "Grande Nago".
Now, What interested me in my conversations with Rochelle is my sister's actions and behavior at the mosque. Rochelle, who love and enjoy gossip would fill me in every details. The fact of the matter was all the women whatever their nationality hated my sister and she had not one friend. The word "Hate" is not appropriate here. It was a love hate kind of thing. They all also admired her. Everyone knew Sister Aisha, for that was her Muslim name, but Sister Aisha did not know anyone's name. And all the men feared and admired her as well including the Immam. They could not understand how a woman could be that free inside and outside her skin. Furthermore,they seem to enjoy her commanding them. As she hanged around the men and prayed with them etc... The only woman to that, not just do that but do it with an air of authority, a right, for she naturally looked down on everyone. One day she had a serious confrontation with the imman. and at the end of a long debate, the immam recognized her as his superior in spiritual affairs, and gave her carte blanche. She was a singularly figure as such she did whatever she wanted and went wherever and prayed wherever she choose while no other woman would dare behave as such. Finally the Immand told her after a long conversation that she had reach the summit in the religion and the next step for her is to do the pilgrimage to Mecca. He would arrange transportation but the financial effort have to come from her as a faithful. That's when I came into the picture. I helped her............
upon getting the news of Sherley's death, Rochelle requested that I met her for she had some important information to give me. At the meeting she looked at me straight in my eyes and ask me what happened during the last time I saw Sherley. She taught I had sex with her or something like that. The following day when she saw my sister at the mosque, she never saw her more happy. There were something in her eyes, her spirit. she was like a woman in love who just got married to her prince charming. The look was so obvious that Rochelle asked her and she replied she was beyond herself and that she reconnected to her brother Rony. And during the conversation she told Rochelle that the years of bringing me forth from birth were the best years of her life. Upon hearing Rochelle, my heart swelled, my knees buckled and tears flew endlessly from my eyes because by now I was well into my 40's yet I felt the exact same way, the time of becoming conscious, these early years were the greatest in my life as well and in the last meeting with her I took a trip outside of this world....... Now you understand the importance of that woman to me. To be continued.......
She lived alone and died alone. She arranged for the Muslims to discover her after death. And they did found her dead like a ball, in a foetus position. And when they did an autopsy they found nothing inside her stomach, fo she had gone into fasting and then induce herself to a self imposed coma unto death. People cried and lamented upon hearing this, but me, I was trembling in awe. For they did not know that she was born the exact same way, she laided with her little body half dead at birth into a foetus position willing herself into consciousness, rosed from a coma at birth to life fully conscious. She was never a child. She die in a self induced coma travelling back to her original state beyond this universe...... They all thought she was a Muslim, in appearance yes, for she was fully robbed in islamic regalia. But to me she was like a hight ranking decorated officer, getting, collecting, amassing badges, grades, epaulettes, ornaments, honors and hights upon new unknown, unreahed heights etc... for her spirit. I studied Greek Mythology with her........."One is never fully known until his or her cycle is completed"= words of sage Solon....... Let me give you the insight........ When Croseus was dying, burning to death at the hands of his enemies, recalling, crying out the name of Solon the wise: do you think he was angry, crying, laughing or resign upon realizing the extent ofhis own ignorance and fate? Ah, ah, Oh. Death at the door. What would you do? Run away? Hide or fight? Not a Semi, she simply smile and reach out and embraced Death with her whole being,,,,,,,,,
Please note Crosseus didn't beg for mercy. It was his total resignation that moved king Cyrus. Death can also be an ace or gift from above. Please read how death was donated or bestowed on the chosen few in their prime in greek mythology to open new horizons or just to keep them closer to the Gods or Spirits themselves...... Enlightening stuff if you can grasp it. It is at the very moment and only at the moment of total surrender that the impossible occurs, the unknown becomes know or the door opened, the mystery revealed, on and on and on......,,,,,,rebirth or reborn..........and please know that surrender doesn't necessarily have to be induce by crisis or by death but you will surely need your highest level of consciousness to sustain the estacy.... Do you get the essence of this page?...
Joseph Cantave, squinching the eye open inwards.......
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